The Complete Single’s Guide To Being A Dog Owner- Book Review & Article!

Single dog owners: Finding the best pet for you

by Joan Lowell Smith/For The Star-Ledger

Friday July 24, 2009, 8:06 AM

What’s the best dog for a single pet owner? This book gives some good advice.

Remember the ’60s hit, “One is the loneliest number”?

Take heart. Being single doesn’t have to be a lonely existence if you have a pet.

Other than finding the perfect human mate, what could be better than sharing life with a lovable dog or cat? I’m stumped for an answer. But like any serious romance, if it’s going to succeed, think first of the big “C”: Commitment.

Whether you’ve always been single or if you’re divorced or widowed, before taking on a pet Betsy Rosenfeld, author of “The Complete Single’s Guide to Being a Dog Owner” (Adams Media, $12.95) suggests first asking yourself why you want a dog.

Compare your answer to the following:
A. Dogs are so cute, I’ve always wanted a (insert breed)
B. All my friends have dogs and I can’t wait to take mine everywhere.
C. I’ve been really stressed and I’m told a dog would be good for me.
D. I’m looking forward to caring for a dog and making it a part of my life.

Obviously, D is the “right” answer, but if your reply most resembles A or B, then the author states: “We may have a problem.”

This is the best book I’ve read to help singles deal with having a dog, although she surprised me a bit when she advised that working people “commit at least an hour a day to your four-footed friend.”

An hour? That sure doesn’t sound like much. But when she spreads it out with 15- to 30-minute intervals of quality pet time, my guess is that most pet owners don’t have much more time on work days. Still, anything less is asking for trouble since a neglected pet can become destructive out of boredom.

But how can you leave a dog alone for at least 8 hours while you work? It’s not fair. Sure, Felix the cat can survive hours alone, thanks to litter boxes, but that doesn’t mean he likes it.

Nancy Scharfenaker of Denver, formerly of Millington, is newly divorced with a teenage daughter and a pair of cockapoos. “Right now it’s no problem,” said Scharfenaker, a grammar school teacher. She found a small house to rent with a fenced yard for the pooches. “Fortunately, my ex doesn’t care about them,” she volunteered. But what happens when she and Ana return to school in September? No problem.

She’s already found a neighbor who volunteers to let the dogs out in the middle of the day. “And we’re both home by 3:30 most days,” she adds. Theirs is a workable situation giving Buster and April much more than an hour of quality time.
If you don’t have that ideal neighbor, dog walkers seldom charge more than $15 per visit, usually lasting at least half an hour.

If you can afford it, a possible solution to keeping your dog happy while you’re nine-to-fiving is to opt for a second dog. They will still need to get out of the house, however. Most dog walkers give a break for multiple dogs.

PLEASE, NO PUPS

Please don’t get a puppy whether you’re single or not if you’re gone all day. The normal high-charged energy of a puppy requires more attention than a nine-to-fiver can give. Instead, adopt an adult dog or cat.

“An older dog is a mellow dog, especially for a first-time owner,” says Rosenfeld, who always recommends considering older dogs.
Speaking of age, elderly singles make perfect pet owners because they have more time to spend with pets.

As long as another home is lined up should they outlive their pets, what could be better?
PERFECT MATCH
Millions of dogs have found homes through Petfinder.com, the national site established by Betsy Saul in New Jersey 13 years ago. The website lists 250,000 dogs by breed, and by the zip code of the nearest shelter or rescue group. For mixed breeds, choose the most prevalent breed.
Earlier this year, Petfinder devised a segment that capitalizes on the craze for online mate-finding. The site lists compatible traits for human matches as well as pet matches (you’ll have to go to Match.com or similar sites for specific singles matching their descriptions).
Here’s a sample:
Human: Rock climber, runner, exercise enthusiast, road tripper, hardly ever home
Best mate: Someone adventurous and spontaneous who joins with you or understands when you’re off on your own adventure.
Best dog: Border collie, terrier, Labrador and German shepherd
Human: Happy-go-lucky, not overly concerned with appearances, doesn’t like rules and restrictions, chooses the road less traveled
Best mate: The unconventional person who’ll go with the flow
Best dog: Tough, low maintenance, resilient loyal dogs — airedale, fox terrier, Australian cattle dog, boxer, pug, beagle or mix thereof
And what happens if you make a match and your date doesn’t like your dog or cat?
“Dump ‘em,” Rosenfeld urges, referring to the date, most definitely NOT the pet.
Instead, strive for a relationship like that of Marcie Hall in Basking Ridge.
Hall estimates that her 10-year-old adopted Maltese named Happy is only alone about eight hours a week.
“Between my boyfriend and me, Happy gets tons of attention,” says Hall, who is on disability with multiple sclerosis. When she goes out, she plops Happy in a tote bag specially designed for little doggies. “I take him everywhere.”

Contact Joan Lowell Smith at P.O. Box 302, Garwood, N.J 07027 or e-mail her at jsmith@starledger.com.

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Web 2.0 & Dogs…A Blessing and A Curse

Dogs and The Internet, The Good and The Bad

The internet is an amazing tool for so many things, not least among them is saving dogs!

Recently my friend Amy found a dog at noon on Friday in Griffith Park in LA, and by 5pm after posting him on Facebook we had a home for him in Sacramento. By 7 a ride had been arranged for him through Twitter. It’s a pretty amazing story as told in this article by Jennifer Fearing on the fabulous dog blog/ pet site PetConnection.com (click here for the article.)

That all happened on Friday and I was feeling pretty good and energized about my rescue/dog networking. Unfortunately those feelings were pretty much dashed by Saturday morning upon receipt of  a nasty, borderline threatening email. It was from a woman who I had talked about on a blog post about my disdain for the current trend of designer dogs.

I didn’t mention her name, nor did I know it until I received her email. And while my post wasn’t personal, she chose to make it so. Truth be told it freaked me out. I could pretend it didn’t but it did.  I basically haven’t been much inclined to blog since then.

I just really prefer to avoid conflict and I was so taken aback when my blog, which I write as a way to give a voice to the plight of rescued dogs, turned so confrontational. It was a quite an eye opening experience. I mean not only was I upset about the interaction, but I had a new sense of the vulnerability of making my opinions and my experiences available for public consumption. It bothered me that this woman, who now hates me, and anyone else for that matter, could read extremely personal stories that I had written my blog.

This internal struggle, and the fact that I’ve been slammed with work, has made me shy away from the blog for the past couple of weeks.

But enough of that. Aside from starting this post a few times, I ended up getting the motivation I needed to blog when I received this thoughtful email:

I’m recently enrolled in a college speech class, I am currently doing a persuasive speech. I want to thank you for your site and your passion to stop puppy mills. I am doing my speech on stopping puppy mills to encourage people not to buy from private breeders, but rather adopt a doggy from a shelter. Thank you again for your website and your information. It was really helpful.

So if I have to make a choice to listen to one of these voices, it’s going to be the latter. Sorry for the lack of blog update! Hope you understand!

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Love that Dog

It’s been about 4 months since Bella died, and I miss her terribly.  But she is everywhere in my life, particularly with the book, and for that I am so grateful.

I actually wrote so much about her, that some material didn’t ultimately make it in the final manuscript. In cleaning up my computer today, I found a few pages about Me & Bella–The Beginning…

Bella & Me

Finding Bella was absolutely, hands and paws down, the best thing that ever happened to me. But I almost gave her up, a thought which makes me ill to even think about. But six weeks after I found her I was moving to Seattle to be with a boyfriend and into apartment that didn’t take dogs. Moving cities seemed like enough of a challenge and I knew how much it took to care for a dog. I had been a failure of a dog mom to my college dog Tucker, and I didn’t know if I could handle the responsibility of bringing Bella with me to a new city and a new life.

muchlove.org

Ambivalent but looking out for her best interest, I decided I would try to find a great home for Bella through a rescue group I worked with in Los Angeles called Much Love. As I handed her off to a volunteer and walked towards my car (they felt my bond with Bella was already too strong and she would show better at the adoption event if I wasn’t there), Bella got away from the volunteer, ran after me and tightly wrapped her two front paws around my waist in a hug. She clung to me like a child clings to her mom on her first day of school. Something inside me clicked. It felt like she was asking me not to let go, and to this day I never have.

I like to say the stars aligned when I found Bella. Although I had been hesitant to bring a dog with me to Seattle, the timing was actually perfect. I had a built-in best friend and more importantly, with no job, and no friends, I had a ton of time to devote to her and to being a stand-up dog mommy. Good thing too; I needed every I had to take care of Bella.

Seattle Public Market

When getting a dog, people often idealize what life with that dog will be like. And for everyone those dreams are different. For some it could be dressing their Chihuahua in cashmere sweaters and rhinestone tiaras as they tote their baby around the world in a Louis Vuitton caring case? For others it could be images of snuggling with a big mutt beside a cozy fire while sipping tea.

Before I left LA for the northwest, I dreamed of taking leisurely walks with Bella on the gorgeous walking trails around Seattle. I would be holding hands with hot my boyfriend who would then of course become my husband, who would also give me a big diamond ring, not too ostentatious of course, and that I would make lots of new friends in Seattle and it would all be awesome!

For better and for worse, things didn’t exactly turn out as I envisioned. Bella immediately put me through my paces as a mom. Within the first three months in Seattle she got thrown out of a daycare after 45 minutes (supposedly she jumped over a wrought iron gate then  broke down a metal fence in an attempt to find me after I dropped her off).

daycare that Bella got thrown out of

Bella then attended a training camp for three weeks in which she learned exactly one thing-being at home with mommy was much better being at camp. Bella then had an adverse reaction to calming herbs given to her by the training camp herbalist, and her peristalsis shut down. Food was no longer moving through her digestive track and they performed emergency surgery.

I spent thousands of dollars and weeks in and out of emergency rooms. Dog mommy-hood, like Seattle (my own personal Seattle McDreamy and I broke up) didn’t quite turn out to be the rah-rah good time I was expecting. But even with all of this, I feel blessed.  Bella turned out to be the best dog one could ask for.

Me & B

There are many wonderful dogs out there waiting to love you like Bella loved me. If you need help finding the right one for you, email me at betsy@lovethydog.com!

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