Single dog owners: Finding the best pet for you

by Joan Lowell Smith/For The Star-Ledger

Friday July 24, 2009, 8:06 AM

Take heart. Being single doesn’t have to be a lonely existence if you have a pet.

Other than finding the perfect human mate, what could be better than sharing life with a lovable dog or cat? I’m stumped for an answer. But like any serious romance, if it’s going to succeed, think first of the big “C”: Commitment.

Whether you’ve always been single or if you’re divorced or widowed, before taking on a pet Betsy Rosenfeld, author of “The Complete Single’s Guide to Being a Dog Owner” (Adams Media, $12.95) suggests first asking yourself why you want a dog.

Compare your answer to the following:
A. Dogs are so cute, I’ve always wanted a (insert breed)
B. All my friends have dogs and I can’t wait to take mine everywhere.
C. I’ve been really stressed and I’m told a dog would be good for me.
D. I’m looking forward to caring for a dog and making it a part of my life.

Obviously, D is the “right” answer, but if your reply most resembles A or B, then the author states: “We may have a problem.”

This is the best book I’ve read to help singles deal with having a dog, although she surprised me a bit when she advised that working people “commit at least an hour a day to your four-footed friend.”

An hour? That sure doesn’t sound like much. But when she spreads it out with 15- to 30-minute intervals of quality pet time, my guess is that most pet owners don’t have much more time on work days. Still, anything less is asking for trouble since a neglected pet can become destructive out of boredom.

But how can you leave a dog alone for at least 8 hours while you work? It’s not fair. Sure, Felix the cat can survive hours alone, thanks to litter boxes, but that doesn’t mean he likes it.

Nancy Scharfenaker of Denver, formerly of Millington, is newly divorced with a teenage daughter and a pair of cockapoos. “Right now it’s no problem,” said Scharfenaker, a grammar school teacher. She found a small house to rent with a fenced yard for the pooches. “Fortunately, my ex doesn’t care about them,” she volunteered. But what happens when she and Ana return to school in September? No problem.

She’s already found a neighbor who volunteers to let the dogs out in the middle of the day. “And we’re both home by 3:30 most days,” she adds. Theirs is a workable situation giving Buster and April much more than an hour of quality time.
If you don’t have that ideal neighbor, dog walkers seldom charge more than $15 per visit, usually lasting at least half an hour.

If you can afford it, a possible solution to keeping your dog happy while you’re nine-to-fiving is to opt for a second dog. They will still need to get out of the house, however. Most dog walkers give a break for multiple dogs.

PLEASE, NO PUPS

Please don’t get a puppy whether you’re single or not if you’re gone all day. The normal high-charged energy of a puppy requires more attention than a nine-to-fiver can give. Instead, adopt an adult dog or cat.

“An older dog is a mellow dog, especially for a first-time owner,” says Rosenfeld, who always recommends considering older dogs.
Speaking of age, elderly singles make perfect pet owners because they have more time to spend with pets.

As long as another home is lined up should they outlive their pets, what could be better?
PERFECT MATCH
Millions of dogs have found homes through Petfinder.com, the national site established by Betsy Saul in New Jersey 13 years ago. The website lists 250,000 dogs by breed, and by the zip code of the nearest shelter or rescue group. For mixed breeds, choose the most prevalent breed.
Earlier this year, Petfinder devised a segment that capitalizes on the craze for online mate-finding. The site lists compatible traits for human matches as well as pet matches (you’ll have to go to Match.com or similar sites for specific singles matching their descriptions).
Here’s a sample:
Human: Rock climber, runner, exercise enthusiast, road tripper, hardly ever home
Best mate: Someone adventurous and spontaneous who joins with you or understands when you’re off on your own adventure.
Best dog: Border collie, terrier, Labrador and German shepherd
Human: Happy-go-lucky, not overly concerned with appearances, doesn’t like rules and restrictions, chooses the road less traveled
Best mate: The unconventional person who’ll go with the flow
Best dog: Tough, low maintenance, resilient loyal dogs — airedale, fox terrier, Australian cattle dog, boxer, pug, beagle or mix thereof
And what happens if you make a match and your date doesn’t like your dog or cat?
“Dump ‘em,” Rosenfeld urges, referring to the date, most definitely NOT the pet.
Instead, strive for a relationship like that of Marcie Hall in Basking Ridge.
Hall estimates that her 10-year-old adopted Maltese named Happy is only alone about eight hours a week.
“Between my boyfriend and me, Happy gets tons of attention,” says Hall, who is on disability with multiple sclerosis. When she goes out, she plops Happy in a tote bag specially designed for little doggies. “I take him everywhere.”

Contact Joan Lowell Smith at P.O. Box 302, Garwood, N.J 07027 or e-mail her at jsmith@starledger.com.