Saying Goodbye, A Dog Obituary

It is always difficult to say goodbye to a beloved pet, and explaining how you feel to non-dog-crazy people is like adding insult to injury; not everyone understands how much our dogs mean to us.

Through the magic of the internet I have met a wonderful, dog-loving woman named Judy. She is a friend of my sister’s who lives in Singapore with her husband Russel who is a photographer (hence the amazing pics) and a pack of beloved Golden Retrievers.

Golden's at Christmas

Sadly, Sidney her first boy, his health had begun to deteriorate in recent months. Knowing that her friend Cynthia’s sister was a crazy dog person, who might understand her situation, she reached out and we began chatting online.

Judy wrote me the most beautiful emails about her beloved Sidney and her fight to keep him healthy and vital. Unlike the US where vets are abundant and understanding of the desire to keep dogs alive and well at almost any cost, Singapore was somewhat behind. And yet Sidney was born in 1994! Certainly Judy was quite a dog mom to have a Golden live strong for 15 plus years.

Sydney wearing Louis Vuitton Sneaker

But last week, it was time to let Sidney go.  I asked Judy to write something about Sidney because if we honor our family and friends with obituaries, we should do the same for our four-legged family member who we love so dearly.

Here is what she wrote:

There is such a strange void and silence in my house after Sidney died. I can’t explain it. Even though I still have 3 dogs, I think his aura was really big.
My husband, Russel, brought Sidney home about 15 and half years ago. We were dating, not married yet. I named him Sidney (after Sidney Poitier) and he was the finest blonde I’d ever met! Like people, some dogs have a presence that cannot be explained and Sidney had that X factor. Everyone always remembers Sidney. It’s not that he did special tricks or anything uniquely special, but people have always gravitated to him. Even when we finally settled and with 4 adorable goldens, Sidney was always the one that stood out.

Sidney also remembers people really well. He adored Russel’s father (who passed away on 28 Aug, exactly 2 months before Sids) who took care of him when he was a sick puppy. Russel’s father, Dr Wong, would take time out of his rest to nurse and medicate this special doggy every hour on the hour and feed him soft white bread to encourage Sidney to eat. Up to today, Sidney’s favorite food is a loaf of baguette! Whenever Sidney saw Dr Wong, he would just go nuts! He would want to snuggle up close and put his lap on Dr Wong, like he was forever grateful to Dr Wong for saving his life and caring.

During Russel’s photo shoots, Sidney would walk over to the studio and sit down and posed. It was really funny because Russel always had to shoo him out of the studio. Sidney liked posing with people! He really did enjoy taking pictures! But more than anything, he loved being around people and people loved him. He was a sensitive soul, my boy, and he had a lot of friends. So many were in tears when I announced that he died, so many.

Sydney in his favorite spot

I knew he was going to die when I woke up on the morning of the 28th. He was so tired and he was having a hard time breathing. I carried him downstairs (they ALL sleep with me in my bedroom, no matter who is sick) and saw that he probably had hours or another day at most. I finally made the decision to call the vet to the house (I would not have wanted him to die at the vet’s, I had to respect Sidney’s wishes. I know how much he hated the vet’s office) because I just couldn’t bear to see him suffer anymore. What really hurts is that his eyes were so alive and well, but the rest of him was not. That makes me feel so guilty! The logical side of my brain understands that it was the best thing for him, but my heart was just in pieces.

Please God take care of my Sidney and forgive me. I’m trying to make myself remember all the wonderful years and be grateful for every minute of them, to have had the opportunity to love such a wonderful companion and get loved back. But it’s still hard. it’s going to take a while…. a long while.
Meanwhile, I’m just trying to give attention to the other 3 doggies. But there is a huge void in my home and in my heart.

What a beautiful letter Judy wrote and I’m glad we were able to connect and share about Sydney.

If you need to share about your dog, I’m always here at betsy@lovethydog.com or there are some amazing  Pet Loss support resources online, including the ASPCA’s website and Petloss.com which has a lengthy list of grief hotlines.

Teaching Kids about Dogs: Martha Speaks

Martha Speaks

I have been a dog person since I can remember. My parents had a rescued Sheltie Shepherd mix named Foxy when I was born- one of father’s fraternity brothers from PENN (who he incidentally had dinner with this week)  had found the dog after the 1971 earthquake and somehow convinced my parents, neither of whom had ever had a dog, to adopt him.

Foxy was awesome- smart, playful and ever-patient as I am sure I was not exactly a gentle or delicate kid. He along with the Woody–the  puppy we got when I was 3– were my constant companion as a child. From that point on I was just drawn to all things dog…particularly dog rescue.

Kids & Dogs

But for normal kids how do they find out about rescue… what happens at a shelter… how to treat and properly care for dogs?

Today the answer is most likely an amazing show on PBS called Martha Speaks. The series and the books follow a family dog who eats alphabet soup and gains the ability of human speech. In addition to its mission of vocabulary development–always a good thing– the series aims to educate children 4-to-7 about shelter animals, and inform families on pet ownership and responsibility.

I love this show, and I’m particularly excited about its new season premieres on September 14th.  Over the course of the new episodes, viewers will see a two-part episode that further explores Martha, the title character’s days as a shelter dog and other new episodes that present strong anti-littering/pet safety messages in a way that is accessible to kids. Here is a preview of the episode airing today

A woman named Susan Medaugh created Martha Speaks.  The idea behind came one day over lunch with her then-seven-year-old son when he asked what would happen if he fed their family dog his alphabet soup. From there Meddaugh has educated and inspired so many kids and families about dogs. She is truly a role model for me. I hope the work I do with my book (The Complete Single’s Guide To Being A Dog Owner, Adams Media 2009) and this blog might make even a fraction if the impact she has had on helping to protect and cherish the dogs of this world!

Be sure to tune to your local PBS affiliate (even if you don’t have kids) today, September 14th!

Animal Care for Artists

It’s been way too long, I know, since I’ve last blogged, but wow it’s been a busy month here in NYC working on the upcoming New York Video Voter Guide. I have been a little better about keeping up with my Facebook status and posting dogs in need. And I thank all of you who have helped with my latest posted pooches.

In doing some poking around online today, I found a very cool project that I think deserves some support, it’s called Animal Care for Artists and its mission is to assist low income individuals, employed in the arts, in covering the cost of medical care for their animal companions.

Animal Care for Artists

In our “new” economy (read crappy economy) anything we can do to stop more sick animals ending up in shelters the better. Helping people who otherwise might not be able to afford proper care for their animals ultimately helps alleviate pressure on the already-overburdened shelter system. Click here to read more about how Animal Care for Artists operates.

What’s also interesting is how this group is going about fund-raising. I found them on a site called Kickstarter which is a supercool portal built for funding creative projects of all sorts. According to the Kickstarter site:”We love artists, writers, designers (of all kinds!), filmmakers, musicians, journalists, athletes, adventurers, inventors, bloggers, illustrators, explorers, curators, promoters, performers, and others.”

So check out Animal Care for Artist and Kickstarter.com and consider making a donation to this group get up and running!

The Complete Single’s Guide to Being A Dog Owner

Click here to buy the book!

It’s quite surreal to be holding this impeccably designed (I can say that because I didn’t design it) book in my hand and think holy crap I wrote this!

It’s been almost two years to the day since my beautiful friend Tara who was my book agent–we’ve been friends since 10th grade (think big hair and scrunchy socks)–called me to tell me that there was a publisher (Adams Media) interested in buying my proposal.

I have to say I barely believed her.

After working in Hollywood, “interested in” something is about as good as “I’ll call you”. So while I was excited, I didn’t even really tell anyone for a few days because I didn’t think it was real!

Gladly it was real, and soon after I had a contract and an editor. After the holy s**t-momentary freak-out that now I had to actually write this thing, I dove in! Even with my (self-diagnosed) ADD, I  just went into a zone. My whole life became about the book. No longer did I have to feel badly about going home early or not going out at all. I even went on a dating a hiatus! “Sorry, I may be 34 and single but I have to write.” No guilt, no second guessing. It was liberating. It was genius!

From July to November, while keeping a full-time job and of course caring for Bella,  I wrote close to 80,000 words.  The contract only called for 45,000– a number that I was so worried I’d never reach–but as I covered the items I outlined in my proposal to a level I saw fit, somehow the word count just kept growing.  I’d certainly come a long way since college when I spent almost as much time playing with the font, margins and spacing (to make my papers seem longer) as I did writing.

Me & B

With the book’s roll out just beginning, a publicity strategy in place, and parties planned, I bursting with anticipation and excitement. But underlying it all is a bit sadness that Bella isn’t here to live experience this with me. I know it’s great that I’ve commemorated her in print, but in some ways it makes me feel my loss that much more because the whole book talks about her and us in the present tense, and I miss thinking about her in the present tense. In French, the term I miss her, Elle me manque, literally translates  to she is missing from my life. And that is how I feel.

But enough with the sadness. I’m not a big one for dwelling or regret. Instead, I am gleeful about the book. I walk around with my copy like a kid with their blankie. And I am happy to have my sweet boy Ranger at my side to pick up where his sister Bella left off. As I type this, Ranger is lying by my side snoring away. He is pure love and canine happiness and I couldn’t be happier.

Now, go buy my book and tell your friends to do the same!

Sticking to Ranger’s Diet

Ranger with Friends

Like many Yellow Labs, Ranger has allergies. When we first got him, his ears were terribly infected. The doctor said was most likely a result of years of low quality food full of corn and or other fillers to which many dogs tend to be allergic.

As soon as we got Ranger, I put him on a chicken-based food that is usually good for dogs with allergies and we continued to give him treats and chews. Like his big sister Bella, he was quite a fan of the bully stick, particularly the round ones.

Initially Ranger’s itching ceased and then it all of the sudden came back with a vengeance. He was itch-obsessed. One morning I woke up and realized he also had the beginning of a rash. So I scooped him up and took him to the vet. More money than I want to admit later, Ranger had been given a medicated bath, Advantage, which he now needs to get every three weeks not four like other dogs, and he has to be on a restrictive diet– Duck and Potato from Royal Canin. It’s a food made for dogs with allergies, so it has limited ingredients which helps vets figure out what foods a dog is or isn’t allergic to.

Ranger's New Diet

Pretty much immediately Ranger began to itch less, which is great. But holy crap it’s hard not to give him anything but his food. No treats, no bribery when we’re leaving and I feel guilty… nothing. It’s like being on a diet myself!

Thankfully Ranger is happy with his food. However tonight, he found a left over bully stick. Before I could realize what he had in his mouth, he took off. I chased him up and down the stairs; all around the apartment trying to get it back from him. He of course thought we were playing a game. For what seemed like an eternity, we went round and round the couch in a game of face off. I was laughing hysterically and he was eluding me at every turn!

Eventually I cornered him and got the bully stick back. I literally shouted, bully stick in the air ”A-Ha, I got it!” Defeated, he followed me  and watched as I put the bully stick on top of the fridge. He looked a little sad, and truly I wanted to give him that bully stick so badly, but I couldn’t. So as a consolation prize, I opened another can of his food, went and found his Kong Toy and stuffed it full of a combo of wet and dry Duck & Potato Royal Canin.

Ranger is now happily slurping away and I feel good that at least one of us stuck to our diet today.

Amazing Low Shed, Friendly Dog Still Needs a Home

Meet Rufus. He’s the kind of dog that the Obama’s should have adopted, but didn’t. But the good news is that you can still can do the right thing and adopt or foster Rufus!!

Rufus is losing his home in 10 days (April 25) because his owner have 5 dogs instead of 3 (don’t you think animal control should spend their time busting real animal offenders) When animal control comes back they will fine the owners and confiscate the dogs. But their loss could be your best friend!

Here is more on Rufus…
Rufus is a great doggy but due to L.A county rules my owner can not keep me. She loves me dearly, But I’m a dog that she knows would be okay and would be at my best with a new family that loves me. I’m awesome with kids, loves to play and play with other Dogs and I love to cuddle….

How good does that sound? And while it’s sad that his owners must give him up, it’s a great opportunity for a someone to adopt a well adjust dog who’s behavioral tendencies are known!

Rufus is 1.5 years old and a mix between a Wheaten Terrier and a Shi Tzu… maybe. But he’s darned cute whatever he is!

Email me at Betsy@lovethydog.com

Dogs from an LA Dog Collector Need Homes

It’s incredibly hard to know about an animal in need and or about to be put down and not do something about it. And some rescuers simply can’t say no. They become unable to create boundaries; venturing into what’s called hoarding or collecting. The distinction between these two scenarios is subtle, but generally hoarders become unable to care for their dogs while collectors maintain adequate hygene and care–but far from what a dog needs.

Schnauzer Poodle Mix at Collector

A rescue group I work with, Lhasa Happy Homes was called to help the nephew of one such collector deal with more than 80 dogs and 120 cats that his ailing aunt has in her “care”. The aunt recently had a stroke, and is now incapcitated leaving the close-to-200 animals in jeopardy.  

There are Labs, Huskies, Poodle mixes, Pomeranians, you name it and they are all in desperate need of homes and or help. They have been relatively well cared for, and most are well socialized and all things considered are pretty healthy.

Click the picture to see some of the cuties and if you’re interested visit Lhasa Happy Homes or email them at lhasahappyhomes@aol.com.

To understand more about collecting, click here.

Who Says You Can’t Take Them With You?

Casper, Angelita & Gizmo in a Stroller!

Last night I stopped by a signing for a very funny book –The A-List Playbook– by E!’s Answer Bitch (Leslie Gornstein) at Barnes & Noble at The Grove.  The book event space (where I hope to have a book signing myself one day soon) is on the third floor.  I got on the escalator behind what I thought was a baby carriage. But as we reached the top floor, I realized there wasn’t a human baby in that carriage, but rather three cutie patootie dogs named Casper, Gizmo and Angelita. Their mommy was bringing them to The Grove for their maiden voyage in their new puppy stroller.

Gizmo seemed a little intent on exploring and getting outside the carriage, but for the most part the dogs were just happy to be in the mix! And while well behaved dogs are welcomed at The Grove, because there is a cafe at Barnes & Noble , dogs are not welcomed anywhere in the store. That is unless you sneak them in inside their stroller-i.e. no one noticed or said anything.

Ranger and Friend Auggie

Ranger to The Rescue

Ranger

Last week my best friend Nell– we went to high school together–was perusing Adopt-A-Pet dreaming about getting a dog (she has wanted a dog but timing hasn’t been right) when she realized oh, I could look for a dog for Betsy; like an anorexic girl baking for her fat friend she dove in looking for the perfect dog for me (in this scenario I’d be the fat friend and she the anorexic- get it?)

Knowing that I wanted another Labbie, Nell sent me the profiles of three dogs- Adopt-A-Pet has a very easy way to share a pet’s profile. She sent a profile for a yellow lab, and two black ones. For some reason- I say divine intervention- only one came through and that was for an Adult Yellow Lab Named Phoenix who was up for adoption through one my favorite rescue groups: Molly’s Mutts & Meows. Okay, so with a friend’s group, good with cats, kids, dogs and on and on. He was so perfect it just couldn’t be real. And yet it was.

While I am friends with Molly, I also know rescues have rules and bylaws. It’s what makes them function and I respect and admire that. Besides, having been the one reading applications for mastiff rescue, I hated people who would not take the time to fill out an application. Just sending in a note saying I’d like to adopt so and so, doesn’t really impress rescuers. If you won’t sit down and do it, what else are you not willing to put effort into. So I immediately– and I mean immediately filled out the application. I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of me getting this dog!

By the way though (good English, right?) being on the adoptee end of things for once in my dog life, I have a new perspective on how crappy it is to fill these things out and then never hear back from anyone, or worse be rejected. The apps ask all sorts of personal questions for good reason (so that the dogs don’t end up back in bad situations similar to the ones they came from) but for the potential adoptee putting some of that stuff on paper to be judged by a nameless faceless entity is kind of creepy and off putting. And to make everyone feel better I, who is arguably the craziest dog person ever, seem to have been rejected or at least passed up on by French Bulldog Rescue. Of course I’m glad that happened now, as I now have Ranger the Perfect one. But last week, I was a mess. I likened it to sending a Match.com prospect a picture of myself in a bathing suit and waiting for a call back. My mind went wild with rejection scenarios and I knew that it was probably a clerical thing, or that they weren’t interested in me because I rent. (Rescuers often prefer to adopt to homeowners because, well before toxic mortgages at least, homeowners were less likely to have to give up a dog due because they couldn’t find a place that took dogs) but it sucked nonetheless.

Anyway, I digress from Ranger (formerly Phoenix). Did I mention that he is perfect?

Thankfully I was able to be in touch with Molly’s group soon after submitting my application and we set up a meeting at the adoption Saturday.  Andre (boyfriend) was out of town for the weekend so my mom and Dad came for support. My Dad is my number rescue supporter and fan and was eager for me to get Ranger. We arrived at least 30 minutes before we needed to, just to make sure no one else could stand in my way!

Thankfully we were the first ones there, even before Ranger arrived. There was another great dog there; a petit Aussie Mix with a gorgeous coat and a wonder demeanor who loves kitties, named Cheyenne. Seriously she is edible, and anyone looking for a great dog should check her out. But something in me said Ranger (then Phoenix) was my guy. Watch a Video of sweet Cheyenne below!

But back to Ranger… about 15 minutes after we arrive, he came barreling into the park with his foster mom

He’s shorter than Bella was, and he’s built like a fireplug. 62 lbs of muscle and kisses wearing a big cone on his head (to keep him away from his recent neuter and the stitches on a cut he has on his foot); the goofy guy just made me smile and my parents melt.

Ranger with Me, My Mom & Dad and his foster Kelly!

I filled out the paperwork and followed the appropriate rescue procedures and away we went.

I miss my Bella sooooo much that I still burst into tears at least once or twice a day, particularly when someone sees me with him instead of her for the first time,  but having Ranger around makes things quite a bit better. It’s a weird transition though; full emotion ranging from sadness over the loss of my girl and then guilt that I shouldn’t be loving another creature. But I guess that’s the price you pay for loving your dogs as much as i do, and I’m willing to pay it.

Thank you Nell; I love that this dog came from you and to Kelly (Ranger’s Foster Mom), Molly (Molly’s Mutts and Meows) and Karen Perkins (Fetching Companions Lab Rescue) who has been my rock through this whole process of losing Bella and finding Ranger.