It is always difficult to say goodbye to a beloved pet, and explaining how you feel to non-dog-crazy people is like adding insult to injury; not everyone understands how much our dogs mean to us.
Through the magic of the internet I have met a wonderful, dog-loving woman named Judy. She is a friend of my sister’s who lives in Singapore with her husband Russel who is a photographer (hence the amazing pics) and a pack of beloved Golden Retrievers.
Golden's at Christmas
Sadly, Sidney her first boy, his health had begun to deteriorate in recent months. Knowing that her friend Cynthia’s sister was a crazy dog person, who might understand her situation, she reached out and we began chatting online.
Judy wrote me the most beautiful emails about her beloved Sidney and her fight to keep him healthy and vital. Unlike the US where vets are abundant and understanding of the desire to keep dogs alive and well at almost any cost, Singapore was somewhat behind. And yet Sidney was born in 1994! Certainly Judy was quite a dog mom to have a Golden live strong for 15 plus years.
Sydney wearing Louis Vuitton Sneaker
But last week, it was time to let Sidney go. I asked Judy to write something about Sidney because if we honor our family and friends with obituaries, we should do the same for our four-legged family member who we love so dearly.
Here is what she wrote:
There is such a strange void and silence in my house after Sidney died. I can’t explain it. Even though I still have 3 dogs, I think his aura was really big.
My husband, Russel, brought Sidney home about 15 and half years ago. We were dating, not married yet. I named him Sidney (after Sidney Poitier) and he was the finest blonde I’d ever met! Like people, some dogs have a presence that cannot be explained and Sidney had that X factor. Everyone always remembers Sidney. It’s not that he did special tricks or anything uniquely special, but people have always gravitated to him. Even when we finally settled and with 4 adorable goldens, Sidney was always the one that stood out.
Sidney also remembers people really well. He adored Russel’s father (who passed away on 28 Aug, exactly 2 months before Sids) who took care of him when he was a sick puppy. Russel’s father, Dr Wong, would take time out of his rest to nurse and medicate this special doggy every hour on the hour and feed him soft white bread to encourage Sidney to eat. Up to today, Sidney’s favorite food is a loaf of baguette! Whenever Sidney saw Dr Wong, he would just go nuts! He would want to snuggle up close and put his lap on Dr Wong, like he was forever grateful to Dr Wong for saving his life and caring.
During Russel’s photo shoots, Sidney would walk over to the studio and sit down and posed. It was really funny because Russel always had to shoo him out of the studio. Sidney liked posing with people! He really did enjoy taking pictures! But more than anything, he loved being around people and people loved him. He was a sensitive soul, my boy, and he had a lot of friends. So many were in tears when I announced that he died, so many.
Sydney in his favorite spot
I knew he was going to die when I woke up on the morning of the 28th. He was so tired and he was having a hard time breathing. I carried him downstairs (they ALL sleep with me in my bedroom, no matter who is sick) and saw that he probably had hours or another day at most. I finally made the decision to call the vet to the house (I would not have wanted him to die at the vet’s, I had to respect Sidney’s wishes. I know how much he hated the vet’s office) because I just couldn’t bear to see him suffer anymore. What really hurts is that his eyes were so alive and well, but the rest of him was not. That makes me feel so guilty! The logical side of my brain understands that it was the best thing for him, but my heart was just in pieces.
Please God take care of my Sidney and forgive me. I’m trying to make myself remember all the wonderful years and be grateful for every minute of them, to have had the opportunity to love such a wonderful companion and get loved back. But it’s still hard. it’s going to take a while…. a long while.
Meanwhile, I’m just trying to give attention to the other 3 doggies. But there is a huge void in my home and in my heart.
What a beautiful letter Judy wrote and I’m glad we were able to connect and share about Sydney.
If you need to share about your dog, I’m always here at betsy@lovethydog.com or there are some amazing Pet Loss support resources online, including the ASPCA’s website and Petloss.com which has a lengthy list of grief hotlines.
In rescue, people tend to have their things. Some do transport, some raise money, some do adoptions, some foster and some do all of the above. I’ve been a money raiser/money raiser/transporter who doesn’t love doing adoptions and who certainly never fostered–my beloved Bella had a certain disdain for pretty much anything on four legs.
But now, with my boy Ranger being the congenial happy-go-lucky boy that he is, I realized that I could consider temporarily inviting a second dog in my home. (Fostering is really one of the most helpful things you can do for a rescue btw for anyone considering it.)
Marvin is for Adoption
At the same time, a long-time rescue friend, on whom I have foisted many a dog, found herself with 3 spirited young pups. She has been doing rescue for a long time and had been trying to wind down her pack to just lifers–older dogs who were basically unadoptable whether for behavioral or health reasons. But as a tender-hearted sucker, she couldn’t say no to the puppies; each with a story more terrible than the next. And while they were independently quite wonderful, together, the puppy energy was driving her nuts!
In a recent conversation I could hear the exasperation in her voice–remember god made puppies cute for a reason. Feeling like I wanted to pitch in and realizing I could actually try fostering at this point, I offered to foster one of the pups with a focus on finding him a home. She was ecstatic.
Within a few hours I was driving away from her house with Marvin..the absolutely cutest 22lb poodle mix you’ve ever seen. He’s steel gray with a bit of white on his chest and a light gray soul patch under his chin. It’s unclear what’s he’s mixed with, maybe a Lhasa Apso perhaps or a Tibetan Terrier? Whatever is in there, is incredibly affectionate and smart.
This dog just loves love. He wants to be next to you, in your lap or even better in your lap curled into your armpit. He is also quite playful with Ranger and with us; not annoying so, but he definitely makes things a bit more lively in the house. And the best part is that Ranger, who can be a little aloof is learning from Marvin how to be more affectionate.
There are people interested in him already and I hope we find him a perfect home–one where he will be cherished and loved and one where he can spend a good deal of time cuddled up like the baby he was born to be!
The internet is an amazing tool for so many things, not least among them is saving dogs!
Recently my friend Amy found a dog at noon on Friday in Griffith Park in LA, and by 5pm after posting him on Facebook we had a home for him in Sacramento. By 7 a ride had been arranged for him through Twitter. It’s a pretty amazing story as told in this article by Jennifer Fearing on the fabulous dog blog/ pet site PetConnection.com (click here for the article.)
That all happened on Friday and I was feeling pretty good and energized about my rescue/dog networking. Unfortunately those feelings were pretty much dashed by Saturday morning upon receipt of a nasty, borderline threatening email. It was from a woman who I had talked about on a blog post about my disdain for the current trend of designer dogs.
I didn’t mention her name, nor did I know it until I received her email. And while my post wasn’t personal, she chose to make it so. Truth be told it freaked me out. I could pretend it didn’t but it did. I basically haven’t been much inclined to blog since then.
I just really prefer to avoid conflict and I was so taken aback when my blog, which I write as a way to give a voice to the plight of rescued dogs, turned so confrontational. It was a quite an eye opening experience. I mean not only was I upset about the interaction, but I had a new sense of the vulnerability of making my opinions and my experiences available for public consumption. It bothered me that this woman, who now hates me, and anyone else for that matter, could read extremely personal stories that I had written my blog.
This internal struggle, and the fact that I’ve been slammed with work, has made me shy away from the blog for the past couple of weeks.
But enough of that. Aside from starting this post a few times, I ended up getting the motivation I needed to blog when I received this thoughtful email:
I’m recently enrolled in a college speech class, I am currently doing a persuasive speech. I want to thank you for your site and your passion to stop puppy mills. I am doing my speech on stopping puppy mills to encourage people not to buy from private breeders, but rather adopt a doggy from a shelter. Thank you again for your website and your information. It was really helpful.
So if I have to make a choice to listen to one of these voices, it’s going to be the latter. Sorry for the lack of blog update! Hope you understand!
Yesterday I was out walking Ranger and we ran into a family who was “walking” a white floppy ball of puppy fur (when puppies are that little, it’s more like dragging than walking). It was very cute and Ranger was soo interested in saying hello and being a kindly neighbor sort, I said hello asked what kind of dog it was.
The mom piped up (as though I’d think it was cute or impressive) that it was a Peki-Chi- a Pekingese Chihuahua mix. Forgive me, but I kind of wanted to shake her silly. Really? A Peki-Chi? Dont you watch Oprah? Don’t you know where that dog came from?
Puppy Mill Photo
Without question, that dog came from a puppy mill or backyard breeder because no self-respecting breeder who breeds for the love of a breed would be cross breeding to create such a “designer dog.” The only people breeding these dogs are out for the money.
As all of this was running through my head I smiled, suggested getting a harness and wished them good luck, and walked away, blood boiling. I thought it might not be such good PR for the book if I smacked her, although you never know.
In writing the book I have come to understand why certain people are scared of rescue, and or just feel more comfortable finding a dog through a breeder. I don’t like it, but I get it. I don’t however tolerate people who either buy dogs at pet stores (humane ones like Orange Bone and WoofWorx not included) and or buy them online from breeders, site unseen.
With pet stores, I often hear… well I felt like I was rescuing it. Again, on a gut level I get that their life wasn’t ideal- since I was a little girl I would only enter the Beverly Center from one side in order to avoid the pet store — but really go to the pound where dogs are jammed in one with another, all facing an uncertain fate and you’ll understand what rescue actually is.
Similary, I’d like to throttle those people who buy dogs online and believe that the pups come from happy places? Hello they come from puppy mills and shady breeders who don’t give a crap about their dog, except in a bottom line sense. Sure you may want to tell yourself “it’s a really nice place, i saw pictures” but guess what chances are, it’s not. The internet is a haven for dishonest business and in this case, dog are simply the commodity.
Online shopping for dogs is a no no
So next time you ask how much is that doggie in the window, whether it be on your computer screen window or the shop window? The answer is that it costs another dog’s life; the one that you didn’t adopt at the shelter.
To see a gallery of adorable dogs I’ve either helped or rescued myself that have come from the streets, the pound or a neglectful situation see below!
I spent the day at the Dog & Baby Buffet checking out all the latest and greatest in luxury Dog and Baby Products, not to mention the stars! There were a bevy, but the highlight (for me as a child of the 80’s) was Jason Priestly and Scott Baio. Scott was there for the whole day as a portion of the proceeds from the event go to his foundation, The Bailey Baio Foundation which raises money and awareness of infant metabolic disorders.
Pasqualina in pearls
Amy and I brought three of our rescue dogs: Pasqualina(Neapolitan Mastiff/Great Dane mix with no hair), Barzini (our Neapolitan Mastiff with juvenile arthritis) and Otto (our three legged Pomeranian.) We were quite the site! But (most) people loved our dogs and fingers crossed there may even be a home for Otto!
Collar Wallet
I also met some great vendors. I will be reviewing some of their products in the next few days, and I wanted to start with our favorites! First was Daisy Couture Collars.
The collar very sturdy and the vintage pattern is adorable! I couldn’t wait to come home and change Ranger’s collar to a Daisy Couture.
Prices for Daisy Couture are very reasonable and products are made right here in the Southland. The best part is that I got the coolest accessory to go with Ranger’s collar. It’s a “collar wallet” that holds his tags so they don’t jingle-jangle as he walks (and scratches!) Check out all of Daisy Couture’s adorable items, and Daisy herself who is a fabulously adorable, rescued Chihuahua mix!
Haute Puppy
Another fantastic vendor featured at the buffet was Haute Puppy by Jennifer Baulto. She offers both a ready to wear and canine couture line! It’s truly exquisite! You can find her items at Bitch New York which offers the ultimate in luxury dog products.
We had a terrific day, and I am pooped! But I have much more to write so stay tuned!
Meet Barzini & Pasqualina! They are both at least mostly Neapolitan Mastiffs. Barzini is definitely a purebred Neo, but Pasqualina we’re not quite as sure about. We think she is a Neo/Great Dane Mix.
They are both between 1 & 2 years old and are sweet as pie. We got Barzini out of the shelter about a year ago and he was quite a sick puppy. We weren’t sure if he was going to make it in fact. He was listless and weak. But Amy has a way of turning these big guys around. Neos and French Mastiffs are just so sensitive! He still has a bit of juvenile arthritis, but he is a happy healthy boy for the part.
Pasqualina
Pasqualina was found eating garbage in an alley. All but a few patches of her hair was gone due to a non-contagious form of mange which happens as a result of malnutrition at a young age. Again, the amazing Amy has been nursing Pasqualina back to health; giving her ground flax seed and a raw diet.
Fingers crossed these big loves will find their forever homes tomorrow at The Silver Spoon Dog and Puppy Buffet!
I’m so excited for tomorrow! I’ll be going to the annual Dog & Baby Buffet! It’s an amazing gifting event put on by The Silverspoon; the innovators of the celebrity gifting suite. It works like this: The Silverspoon (which is run by a childhood friend Melissa Lemer, and her partner Loren Bendinskas) rounds up the most fabulous brands to showcase to celebrities, other LA insiders and the press and proceeds from the event goes to benefit charities.
As the event showcases many dog goodies, Melissa and Lorena always include a few rescue groups in the mix, and tomorro Amy and I will be one of the groups!
Otto
We are bringing three rescues to the event; Mastiffs Barzini and Pasqualina, and our ancient three legged Pomeranian Otto. Amy found him in the street with a broken leg and we raised the money to pay for his broken leg to be amputated. He barely notices that it’s missing and he likes to beat up on the other dogs at Amy’s house! At 5 lbs, 12+ years and with three legs, he is the alpha of the pack!
The other group that is coming tomorrow is from a new hybrid store which sells puppies from the shelter instead of from puppy mills or backyard breeders. I can’t remember the name right now, but will post it tomorrow with pictures!
Yesterday I wrote about Bo Obama- the girls named him Bo– and referred to him as a rescue dog. I actually struggled with whether I should add the words “sort of” at the end of that statement. Ultimately I left it off and now I regret it.
While Bo was given back to the breeder, something that happens a lot with puppies (FYI a sign of a good breeder is whether or not they will take a dog back, so I am at least grateful that they found a decent ethical breeder) I realize that I don’t think their bringing Bo into the White House is in sync with what was promised– that they would rescue a dog. Sorry, but no matter how much I have been behind Obama, I can’t quite buy that a dog from The Kennedy’s chosen breeder should be consider a rescued dog.
Reports indicate that The Obamas will donate to the Humane Society, but to me actions speak louder than words, and in this case money. The donation is a consolation prize and while a nice sentiment, it will be but a blip on the Obama dog radar. Rather Bo will be around for a long time, and people will think in order to get a good, worthy dog they must get a breeder dog.
And lest anyone claim it was an issue of allergies, there are hundreds of dog dying in shelters around the country every day who are just as hypo-allergenic as Bo Obama.
I am sad and extremely disappointed in the example The Obamas are setting.
Last night I stopped by a signing for a very funny book –The A-List Playbook– by E!’s Answer Bitch (Leslie Gornstein) at Barnes & Noble at The Grove. The book event space (where I hope to have a book signing myself one day soon) is on the third floor. I got on the escalator behind what I thought was a baby carriage. But as we reached the top floor, I realized there wasn’t a human baby in that carriage, but rather three cutie patootie dogs named Casper, Gizmo and Angelita. Their mommy was bringing them to The Grove for their maiden voyage in their new puppy stroller.
Gizmo seemed a little intent on exploring and getting outside the carriage, but for the most part the dogs were just happy to be in the mix! And while well behaved dogs are welcomed at The Grove, because there is a cafe at Barnes & Noble , dogs are not welcomed anywhere in the store. That is unless you sneak them in inside their stroller-i.e. no one noticed or said anything.
I just wish I could get a stroller big enough for Ranger, but somehow I doubt that would go unnoticed for long!
On Thursday night I went to the opening of a great new store called Woof Worx. It’s a pet store, and it sells dogs. If you knew me at all you’d be in shock that I actually put those two sentences together. But it’s true!
Woof Worx
Woof Worx rocks because they are the first (in hopefully a long line) of pet stores which operates under Best Friend’s Puppy-Store-Free Campaign, i.e. Woof Worx has adorable puppies that come from the shelter instead of a puppy mill. Indeed the pups at Woof Worx are creatures not commodities.
Previously, the space located in the Glen Center (a Betsy favorite from way back a little shout out to Santo Pietro’s, Vera’s, Shane on the Glen and Sushi Ko), was occupied by a seriously vile place called Pets of Bel Air that you may recognize from the news. It was busted for it’s inhumane and illegal practices “A fraud and false advertising lawsuit against Pets of Bel Air claims animals the store said were from private breeders actually came from puppy mills and were less than healthy and hardy.”
Thankfully those days are gone and it’s now a gorgeous store that we all must support because, its success will hopefully inspire other puppy stores to follow in its footsteps. And if sheer inspiration doesn’t do it, I’m hoping the growing sentiment against and deserved suspicion of puppy stores will make them obsolete in the very near future!
Visit Woof Worx at
2924 North Beverly Glen Circle
Los Angeles, CA 90077
310.474.1211
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