It is always difficult to say goodbye to a beloved pet, and explaining how you feel to non-dog-crazy people is like adding insult to injury; not everyone understands how much our dogs mean to us.
Through the magic of the internet I have met a wonderful, dog-loving woman named Judy. She is a friend of my sister’s who lives in Singapore with her husband Russel who is a photographer (hence the amazing pics) and a pack of beloved Golden Retrievers.
Golden's at Christmas
Sadly, Sidney her first boy, his health had begun to deteriorate in recent months. Knowing that her friend Cynthia’s sister was a crazy dog person, who might understand her situation, she reached out and we began chatting online.
Judy wrote me the most beautiful emails about her beloved Sidney and her fight to keep him healthy and vital. Unlike the US where vets are abundant and understanding of the desire to keep dogs alive and well at almost any cost, Singapore was somewhat behind. And yet Sidney was born in 1994! Certainly Judy was quite a dog mom to have a Golden live strong for 15 plus years.
Sydney wearing Louis Vuitton Sneaker
But last week, it was time to let Sidney go. I asked Judy to write something about Sidney because if we honor our family and friends with obituaries, we should do the same for our four-legged family member who we love so dearly.
Here is what she wrote:
There is such a strange void and silence in my house after Sidney died. I can’t explain it. Even though I still have 3 dogs, I think his aura was really big.
My husband, Russel, brought Sidney home about 15 and half years ago. We were dating, not married yet. I named him Sidney (after Sidney Poitier) and he was the finest blonde I’d ever met! Like people, some dogs have a presence that cannot be explained and Sidney had that X factor. Everyone always remembers Sidney. It’s not that he did special tricks or anything uniquely special, but people have always gravitated to him. Even when we finally settled and with 4 adorable goldens, Sidney was always the one that stood out.
Sidney also remembers people really well. He adored Russel’s father (who passed away on 28 Aug, exactly 2 months before Sids) who took care of him when he was a sick puppy. Russel’s father, Dr Wong, would take time out of his rest to nurse and medicate this special doggy every hour on the hour and feed him soft white bread to encourage Sidney to eat. Up to today, Sidney’s favorite food is a loaf of baguette! Whenever Sidney saw Dr Wong, he would just go nuts! He would want to snuggle up close and put his lap on Dr Wong, like he was forever grateful to Dr Wong for saving his life and caring.
During Russel’s photo shoots, Sidney would walk over to the studio and sit down and posed. It was really funny because Russel always had to shoo him out of the studio. Sidney liked posing with people! He really did enjoy taking pictures! But more than anything, he loved being around people and people loved him. He was a sensitive soul, my boy, and he had a lot of friends. So many were in tears when I announced that he died, so many.
Sydney in his favorite spot
I knew he was going to die when I woke up on the morning of the 28th. He was so tired and he was having a hard time breathing. I carried him downstairs (they ALL sleep with me in my bedroom, no matter who is sick) and saw that he probably had hours or another day at most. I finally made the decision to call the vet to the house (I would not have wanted him to die at the vet’s, I had to respect Sidney’s wishes. I know how much he hated the vet’s office) because I just couldn’t bear to see him suffer anymore. What really hurts is that his eyes were so alive and well, but the rest of him was not. That makes me feel so guilty! The logical side of my brain understands that it was the best thing for him, but my heart was just in pieces.
Please God take care of my Sidney and forgive me. I’m trying to make myself remember all the wonderful years and be grateful for every minute of them, to have had the opportunity to love such a wonderful companion and get loved back. But it’s still hard. it’s going to take a while…. a long while.
Meanwhile, I’m just trying to give attention to the other 3 doggies. But there is a huge void in my home and in my heart.
What a beautiful letter Judy wrote and I’m glad we were able to connect and share about Sydney.
If you need to share about your dog, I’m always here at betsy@lovethydog.com or there are some amazing Pet Loss support resources online, including the ASPCA’s website and Petloss.com which has a lengthy list of grief hotlines.
In rescue, people tend to have their things. Some do transport, some raise money, some do adoptions, some foster and some do all of the above. I’ve been a money raiser/money raiser/transporter who doesn’t love doing adoptions and who certainly never fostered–my beloved Bella had a certain disdain for pretty much anything on four legs.
But now, with my boy Ranger being the congenial happy-go-lucky boy that he is, I realized that I could consider temporarily inviting a second dog in my home. (Fostering is really one of the most helpful things you can do for a rescue btw for anyone considering it.)
Marvin is for Adoption
At the same time, a long-time rescue friend, on whom I have foisted many a dog, found herself with 3 spirited young pups. She has been doing rescue for a long time and had been trying to wind down her pack to just lifers–older dogs who were basically unadoptable whether for behavioral or health reasons. But as a tender-hearted sucker, she couldn’t say no to the puppies; each with a story more terrible than the next. And while they were independently quite wonderful, together, the puppy energy was driving her nuts!
In a recent conversation I could hear the exasperation in her voice–remember god made puppies cute for a reason. Feeling like I wanted to pitch in and realizing I could actually try fostering at this point, I offered to foster one of the pups with a focus on finding him a home. She was ecstatic.
Within a few hours I was driving away from her house with Marvin..the absolutely cutest 22lb poodle mix you’ve ever seen. He’s steel gray with a bit of white on his chest and a light gray soul patch under his chin. It’s unclear what’s he’s mixed with, maybe a Lhasa Apso perhaps or a Tibetan Terrier? Whatever is in there, is incredibly affectionate and smart.
This dog just loves love. He wants to be next to you, in your lap or even better in your lap curled into your armpit. He is also quite playful with Ranger and with us; not annoying so, but he definitely makes things a bit more lively in the house. And the best part is that Ranger, who can be a little aloof is learning from Marvin how to be more affectionate.
There are people interested in him already and I hope we find him a perfect home–one where he will be cherished and loved and one where he can spend a good deal of time cuddled up like the baby he was born to be!
What’s the best dog for a single pet owner? This book gives some good advice.
Remember the ’60s hit, “One is the loneliest number”?
Take heart. Being single doesn’t have to be a lonely existence if you have a pet.
Other than finding the perfect human mate, what could be better than sharing life with a lovable dog or cat? I’m stumped for an answer. But like any serious romance, if it’s going to succeed, think first of the big “C”: Commitment.
Whether you’ve always been single or if you’re divorced or widowed, before taking on a pet Betsy Rosenfeld, author of “The Complete Single’s Guide to Being a Dog Owner” (Adams Media, $12.95) suggests first asking yourself why you want a dog.
Compare your answer to the following:
A. Dogs are so cute, I’ve always wanted a (insert breed)
B. All my friends have dogs and I can’t wait to take mine everywhere.
C. I’ve been really stressed and I’m told a dog would be good for me.
D. I’m looking forward to caring for a dog and making it a part of my life.
Obviously, D is the “right” answer, but if your reply most resembles A or B, then the author states: “We may have a problem.”
This is the best book I’ve read to help singles deal with having a dog, although she surprised me a bit when she advised that working people “commit at least an hour a day to your four-footed friend.”
An hour? That sure doesn’t sound like much. But when she spreads it out with 15- to 30-minute intervals of quality pet time, my guess is that most pet owners don’t have much more time on work days. Still, anything less is asking for trouble since a neglected pet can become destructive out of boredom.
But how can you leave a dog alone for at least 8 hours while you work? It’s not fair. Sure, Felix the cat can survive hours alone, thanks to litter boxes, but that doesn’t mean he likes it.
Nancy Scharfenaker of Denver, formerly of Millington, is newly divorced with a teenage daughter and a pair of cockapoos. “Right now it’s no problem,” said Scharfenaker, a grammar school teacher. She found a small house to rent with a fenced yard for the pooches. “Fortunately, my ex doesn’t care about them,” she volunteered. But what happens when she and Ana return to school in September? No problem.
She’s already found a neighbor who volunteers to let the dogs out in the middle of the day. “And we’re both home by 3:30 most days,” she adds. Theirs is a workable situation giving Buster and April much more than an hour of quality time.
If you don’t have that ideal neighbor, dog walkers seldom charge more than $15 per visit, usually lasting at least half an hour.
If you can afford it, a possible solution to keeping your dog happy while you’re nine-to-fiving is to opt for a second dog. They will still need to get out of the house, however. Most dog walkers give a break for multiple dogs.
PLEASE, NO PUPS
Please don’t get a puppy whether you’re single or not if you’re gone all day. The normal high-charged energy of a puppy requires more attention than a nine-to-fiver can give. Instead, adopt an adult dog or cat.
“An older dog is a mellow dog, especially for a first-time owner,” says Rosenfeld, who always recommends considering older dogs.
Speaking of age, elderly singles make perfect pet owners because they have more time to spend with pets.
As long as another home is lined up should they outlive their pets, what could be better?
PERFECT MATCH
Millions of dogs have found homes through Petfinder.com, the national site established by Betsy Saul in New Jersey 13 years ago. The website lists 250,000 dogs by breed, and by the zip code of the nearest shelter or rescue group. For mixed breeds, choose the most prevalent breed.
Earlier this year, Petfinder devised a segment that capitalizes on the craze for online mate-finding. The site lists compatible traits for human matches as well as pet matches (you’ll have to go to Match.com or similar sites for specific singles matching their descriptions).
Here’s a sample:
Human: Rock climber, runner, exercise enthusiast, road tripper, hardly ever home
Best mate: Someone adventurous and spontaneous who joins with you or understands when you’re off on your own adventure.
Best dog: Border collie, terrier, Labrador and German shepherd
Human: Happy-go-lucky, not overly concerned with appearances, doesn’t like rules and restrictions, chooses the road less traveled
Best mate: The unconventional person who’ll go with the flow
Best dog: Tough, low maintenance, resilient loyal dogs — airedale, fox terrier, Australian cattle dog, boxer, pug, beagle or mix thereof
And what happens if you make a match and your date doesn’t like your dog or cat?
“Dump ‘em,” Rosenfeld urges, referring to the date, most definitely NOT the pet.
Instead, strive for a relationship like that of Marcie Hall in Basking Ridge.
Hall estimates that her 10-year-old adopted Maltese named Happy is only alone about eight hours a week.
“Between my boyfriend and me, Happy gets tons of attention,” says Hall, who is on disability with multiple sclerosis. When she goes out, she plops Happy in a tote bag specially designed for little doggies. “I take him everywhere.”
Contact Joan Lowell Smith at P.O. Box 302, Garwood, N.J 07027 or e-mail her at jsmith@starledger.com.
NEW YORK (AP) — Susan Jacobs and her companion Kingston both like chicken and collards, chilling on the couch and riding in her convertible with the breeze tussling his curly black hair.
Kingston, it should be said, is a black poodle. But for Jacobs, 45, of Long Beach, Calif., he is like a child.
“The next time I travel, I’ll probably take him with me,” said Jacobs, a Mary Kay consultant and freelance writer. “I’m just used to him being around.”
An Associated Press-Petside.com poll released Tuesday found that half of all American pet owners consider their pets as much a part of the family as any other person in the household; another 36 percent said their pet is part of the family but not a full member.
And that means pets often get the human touch: Most pet owners cop to feeding animals human food, nearly half give the animals human names and nearly a third let them sleep in a human bed. While just 19 percent had bought an outfit for a pet, 43 percent felt their pet had its own “sense of style.”
Ranger and his girlfriend Idaho
Nathan Nommensen, 19, a college student who lives with his parents in Winthrop Harbor, Ill., said their golden retriever Molly sleeps in his parents’ room, goes with them on camping trips and appears in their annual family Christmas photo.
He doesn’t consider her a full member of the family, though. “She’s part of the family but not a human part of the family,” he said.
Singles were more likely to say a pet was a full member of the family than married people — 66 percent of single women versus 46 percent of married women, for example. And men were less likely to call their pet a full member of the household.
For some single women, pets become surrogate children, said Kristen Nelson, a veterinarian in Scottsdale, Ariz. She said men are also attached to pets — but are less likely to admit it because it’s not seen as masculine.
Debbie Jablonski, 50, of Wilmington, N.C., talks about her cats like a mom talks about her children.
My Son Ranger
Milkshake, who sleeps at the foot of her bed, sticks his cold nose on her eyelid and touches his paw to her face at 4:30 a.m. to wake her up and feed him. The other cat, Licorice, sleeps on the couch and has a habit of sitting on her newspaper when she is trying to read it.
“If you try to budge her, she will not move,” said Jablonski, laughing. “You will have to practically pick her up and move her.”
Jablonski, who works for a laboratory equipment manufacturer, celebrates the cats’ birthdays, includes photos of the cats in holiday cards and watches home movies of them playing.
Most pet owners don’t go that far, according to the survey. Only a little over a quarter celebrate their pet’s birthday or the day it came to live with them and just a third have included a pet’s photo or name in a holiday card.
Still, 42 percent of pet owners have taken a pet on vacation, with dogs more likely to accompany the family than cats. Dog owners were also more likely to take their pets to work (21 percent) or somewhere the animal wasn’t allowed (18 percent).
When it comes to feedings, nearly half of all dog owners and 40 percent of cat owners admit giving their pets human food at least sometimes.
Jimmy Ruth Martin, 73, who sells real estate in Louisville, Texas, said she gives her border collie Samantha table food: chicken, steak, potatoes, salad, ice cream. “She’ll eat anything I’m eating,” she said.
She said her dog has gotten so fat, she can’t climb up on the bed. “The table scraps have done that.”
Helen Reed, 60, of Clearfield, Pa., said her cat Sadie has personality — she is not a lap cat, sleeps at the foot of the bed and likes to be in the same room as her. But she doesn’t dress her up.
Martin doesn’t squeeze Samantha into cute outfits, either, though she said the dog does have her own sense of style. “She’s still a dog and I know it,” she said.
Bernice Miller, 71, of Springfield, Mo., said she likes to dress her Maltese up as a pumpkin on Thanksgiving and Santa on Christmas. She has a photo of she and the dog on her wall, signs his name “Tully” to cards and gives him treats on his birthday.
“He’s the best little thing,” said Miller, who is retired. “He just begs to go with me, so I don’t leave him too much. He’s just like a little kid.”
The AP-Petside.com poll was conducted by GfK Roper Public Affairs & Media from May 28-June 1, 2009. It is based on landline and cellular telephone interviews with a random sample of 1,110 pet owners. The margin of error is plus or minus 2.9 percentage points.
Associated Press polling director Trevor Tompson contributed to this report.
Yesterday I was out walking Ranger and we ran into a family who was “walking” a white floppy ball of puppy fur (when puppies are that little, it’s more like dragging than walking). It was very cute and Ranger was soo interested in saying hello and being a kindly neighbor sort, I said hello asked what kind of dog it was.
The mom piped up (as though I’d think it was cute or impressive) that it was a Peki-Chi- a Pekingese Chihuahua mix. Forgive me, but I kind of wanted to shake her silly. Really? A Peki-Chi? Dont you watch Oprah? Don’t you know where that dog came from?
Puppy Mill Photo
Without question, that dog came from a puppy mill or backyard breeder because no self-respecting breeder who breeds for the love of a breed would be cross breeding to create such a “designer dog.” The only people breeding these dogs are out for the money.
As all of this was running through my head I smiled, suggested getting a harness and wished them good luck, and walked away, blood boiling. I thought it might not be such good PR for the book if I smacked her, although you never know.
In writing the book I have come to understand why certain people are scared of rescue, and or just feel more comfortable finding a dog through a breeder. I don’t like it, but I get it. I don’t however tolerate people who either buy dogs at pet stores (humane ones like Orange Bone and WoofWorx not included) and or buy them online from breeders, site unseen.
With pet stores, I often hear… well I felt like I was rescuing it. Again, on a gut level I get that their life wasn’t ideal- since I was a little girl I would only enter the Beverly Center from one side in order to avoid the pet store — but really go to the pound where dogs are jammed in one with another, all facing an uncertain fate and you’ll understand what rescue actually is.
Similary, I’d like to throttle those people who buy dogs online and believe that the pups come from happy places? Hello they come from puppy mills and shady breeders who don’t give a crap about their dog, except in a bottom line sense. Sure you may want to tell yourself “it’s a really nice place, i saw pictures” but guess what chances are, it’s not. The internet is a haven for dishonest business and in this case, dog are simply the commodity.
Online shopping for dogs is a no no
So next time you ask how much is that doggie in the window, whether it be on your computer screen window or the shop window? The answer is that it costs another dog’s life; the one that you didn’t adopt at the shelter.
To see a gallery of adorable dogs I’ve either helped or rescued myself that have come from the streets, the pound or a neglectful situation see below!
Although cut short the segment was awesome! Take a look!
This morning I was out the door at about 5:59 to get everything ready to be on the air at KTLA at 9:40 with 4 rescue dogs- Carmen the Chihuahua Yorkie mix, Herbie the Beagle/Jack Russell Mix, Sasquatch the Chow, and Pasqualina the Great Dane/Italian Mastiff mix. I was on to promote my book, The Complete Single’s Guide To Being a Dog Owner and brought the dogs on to share what kind of single person would be a good match for him or her.
While I had been a segment producer for years, and hosted on camera for Video Voter many times, today was my first time on live TV talking on my own stuff and I have to admit I was somewhat nervous. Would I get through it? Would I look fat on TV– that was a big one and would Mark Kriski be nice to me!
Not to mention the old addage that you should never work with animals or children! With the excpetion of two- Herbie and Carmen who live together… in Eagle Rock where I had to be in time to get them, get to Studio City to introduce them to Amy’s fostered Mastiff Pasqualina (to avoid drama) and then to Hollywood to the studio all before 8:30 and without coffee… these dogs didn’t know one another. There was the potential for all sorts of drama, thankfully none of which happened!
It was a great success and I thank everyone at KTLA, particularly because we have already gotten calls on the dogs!
It’s quite surreal to be holding this impeccably designed (I can say that because I didn’t design it) book in my hand and think holy crap I wrote this!
It’s been almost two years to the day since my beautiful friend Tara who was my book agent–we’ve been friends since 10th grade (think big hair and scrunchy socks)–called me to tell me that there was a publisher (Adams Media) interested in buying my proposal.
I have to say I barely believed her.
After working in Hollywood, “interested in” something is about as good as “I’ll call you”. So while I was excited, I didn’t even really tell anyone for a few days because I didn’t think it was real!
Gladly it was real, and soon after I had a contract and an editor. After the holy s**t-momentary freak-out that now I had to actually write this thing, I dove in! Even with my (self-diagnosed) ADD, I just went into a zone. My whole life became about the book. No longer did I have to feel badly about going home early or not going out at all. I even went on a dating a hiatus! “Sorry, I may be 34 and single but I have to write.” No guilt, no second guessing. It was liberating. It was genius!
From July to November, while keeping a full-time job and of course caring for Bella, I wrote close to 80,000 words. The contract only called for 45,000– a number that I was so worried I’d never reach–but as I covered the items I outlined in my proposal to a level I saw fit, somehow the word count just kept growing. I’d certainly come a long way since college when I spent almost as much time playing with the font, margins and spacing (to make my papers seem longer) as I did writing.
Me & B
With the book’s roll out just beginning, a publicity strategy in place, and parties planned, I bursting with anticipation and excitement. But underlying it all is a bit sadness that Bella isn’t here to live experience this with me. I know it’s great that I’ve commemorated her in print, but in some ways it makes me feel my loss that much more because the whole book talks about her and us in the present tense, and I miss thinking about her in the present tense. In French, the term I miss her, Elle me manque, literally translates to she is missing from my life. And that is how I feel.
But enough with the sadness. I’m not a big one for dwelling or regret. Instead, I am gleeful about the book. I walk around with my copy like a kid with their blankie. And I am happy to have my sweet boy Ranger at my side to pick up where his sister Bella left off. As I type this, Ranger is lying by my side snoring away. He is pure love and canine happiness and I couldn’t be happier.
Ranger and his girlfriend Idaho
Now, go buy my book and tell your friends to do the same!
Russian scientists say that Moscow stray dogs became much smarter. The four legged oldest human’s friends demonstrate real smartness such as riding the Moscow metro every morning to get from their suburban places of living to the fat regions of Moscow center. Once they arrive to the downtown they demonstrate different new, previously unseen for the dog skills. Those skills can include “the hunt for shawarma” for example, the popular among Muscovites eastern cuisine dish. This hunt scene can be seen as this:
Regular Moscow busy street with some small food kiosks. A middle-aged man buys himself a piece of hot fast food and walks aside chewing it without a rush. Then just in a second he jumps up frightened - some doggy has sneaked up on him and barked out loudly. His tasty snack falls out from his hands down to the ground and the dog gets it. Just ten minutes later, on the same place, the teen youngster loses his dinner in exactly the same manner. The modern
Russian dogs are on their urban hunt.
“This method of ambushing people from their back is widely exercised by Moscow dogs”, saying A. Poiarkov, working in Ecology and Evolution Institute of Moscow. “The main point here is to define who would drop the food scared and who won’t, but the dogs are great psychologists they can do it better than us”.
Moscow ecologists think that dogs started acquiring this habits in 1990s, when the Soviet union collapsed and Moscow has fell into the hands of new class of Russian capitalists. They understood the true value of the downtown realty underestimated by previous Communist owners and became removing all the industrial complexes Moscow had in its centre to its outskirts. Those places were used by homeless dogs as a shelter often, so the dogs had to move together with their houses, so they had to learn how to travel Moscow subway - first to get to the centre in the morning then back home in the evening, just as us people.
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